What an event this one was. This was a tournament for the Heavy Weight belt, eight men, throughout the night.

It started off with Hewlett Packard vs. Captain Save-A-Hoe. Hewlett started off by giving out 500 free hours of AOL to one lucky fan, signed as well. Captain got kicked in the nuts early on, but shook it off. After a whiplash and a seated double arm choke slam Captain taunted, but was surprised by a Floppy Disk Drive. Captain resisted the pain and delivered a 180 choke slam setting up for a PHD and a win.

Second tournament match was between Fucking Crazy and Big Nasty. Highlights: Big Nasty held Fucking Crazy up in a vertical suplex for 13.4 seconds, showed his strength by pumping Crazy up and down with a gorilla press, and Crazy got scooped slammed on tacks. Crazy delivered the “Lights Out” on Nasty for the win. Nasty got angry and Big Nasty Bombed Crazy through three tables (not at the same time though).

The third match was for the cruiser weight title and was a rematch between Taco(the champion) and El Demente. This match was high flying to say the least. El Demente hit Taco with a pool stick setting Taco up for a tiltaworl slam and a monkey flip. El Demente went to power bomb Taco that led into about eight different pins. Demente got up and sent Taco spinning with a clothesline. Taco jumped off the top, but was caught by Demente. Demente tried to suplex, but got planted by a DDT. Taco climbed up top and gave a 180 crossbody slam. Taco got up and went for a double ax handle, but Demente ducked and got behind Taco. Taco elbowed and did a go behind leading right into an impaler. Taco got the dazed Demente up for a running face plant, then a missile drop kick. Taco set Demente up top for a super-plex, but Demente pushed back and gave a side-kick sending Taco flying off the top. Taco recovered early and went running to grab the legs of Demente. Demente was ready and back flipped onto his feet. Demente went to belly to back Taco, but Taco landed on his feet. Demente quickly back kicked Taco to end the combinations. Demente gave a standing moonsault, then a senton. Taco later gave patent a 360 DDT through a table. Taco irish whipped Demente for a clothesline, but Demente got a float over DDT. Taco later gave Demente a snap mare into a drop kick to the back of the head and then a Twist of Fate. Taco gave a Taco Driver, but Demente reversed the pin. Demente gave a hurracanranna, then whipped Taco. Taco reversed the whip and delivered a tiltaworl back breaker. Taco then whipped Demente, went for a drop kick, but Demente put the breaks on and ran over for the Toronto Maple Leaf submission. Taco got to the ropes, but only to find himself set up for the 4th Dimension through a board for the win (behind the back head hooked brain-buster). El Demente is your new cruiser weight champion.

Hot Sex supposedly proved he wasn’t Red Mask by asking for a match against him in the tournament. “Red Mask” tripped over the top rope and Hot Sex got the three count. It seemed that “Red Mask” was a hired man with about one hundred extra pounds on him, but tell that this to Hot Sex.

Captain fought Fucking Crazy’s alternate Dust in the semi-finals. Due to injury from Big Nasty, Fucking Crazy could not advance. Captain dished out the most impressive elbow drop ever on Dust by kissing his arm first. Dust proved that he could hang with the veterans in this match despite what fans first had believed. Captain won with a big choke slam on Dust.

The new cruiser weight champion went on to fight Hot Sex in the semi-finals. Hot Sex once again tested his mic skills and lost that fight. Hot Sex added the rule of first to go through a table loses. The match was short fought when the Executive Branch, who would later take on El Demente in the stable match, came out and put Demente on Hot Sex’s shoulders. Hot Sex was fortunately standing on a table when this happened giving Hot Sex the opportunity to give a seated power bomb to Demente through the table for the win. El Demente got angry when he woke up and gave the ref. the 4th dimension.

The first boxing match was between Dangerous Derek and Pink Hair. Derek won by pin fall.

Faygo came out and announced his retirement. He told the fans this would be his last match.

The stable match, which was elimination, no tag format rules, started with President Riggsbee coming out on the shoulders the Captain (Kid Corperate was injured and could not join his team). Riggsbee got clotheslined by a tree on the way out, but he was ok. Dust, El Demente, and Faygo entered separately, but once together they cleared the ring. El Demente got up top and gave a crossbody to the Branch. After brawling in the ring for a while the teams took it outside. Highlights in order: A glass frame cut the forehead of Faygo. The Captain gave El Demente a snowplow. Faygo fought back with two frames on the President Riggsbee. The President power bombed Faygo on the tacks. The Captain jackhammered El Demente. Dust busted the President open with a chair. Faygo and Demente took turns moonsaulting Riggsbee off a chair. Riggsbee laid out a pan on the face of Dust and punched it hurting himself. Riggsbee was back flipped off of a ladder by Captain onto Dust, which led Riggsbee and Captain to argue over the pin. The Captain got pissed and choke slammed the life out of The President onto the tacks (They later hugged and made up). Faygo threw a chair at the face of Riggsbee. Faygo got hipped tossed twice onto the tacks by Riggsbee. Riggsbee tried to Diamond Cut Demente through a table, but it wouldn’t break (what else is new). Captain made up for it by PHD’ing and Whiplashing Demente through a table. Faygo gave his finisher on Riggsbee on the tacks. Faygo snap-suplexed Riggsbee on the tacks. Captain set Faygo up for a Razor’s Edge as Riggsbee doubled it up with a running neck-breaker. Faygo double legged dropped Riggsbee off a chair. Faygo Samoan dropped Captain Save-A-Hoe off a chair through a table and then gave a senton to finish the break of the table. Faygo reversed a tombstone into one of his own on Riggsbee. Riggsbee delivered the Executive Privilege. A no shirt chop contest broke out, but was ended by another Privilege. Riggsbee put Faygo on a ladder next to a table, but Faygo recovered and gave Riggsbee a jumping DDT off the ladder through a table. Faygo’s stable won by eliminating the Executive Branch.

Boxing match final was between Daniel “Mighty Righty” Hesselberg vs. Weedaman. Weedaman won by knock out.

Since the fans really do suck we were unable to hold the finals of the tournament. Hot Sex vs. Captain will be held at the next event. Check out all of the new pictures from the event (should be up by 4-5-00).